Gender and the Narcissist

In the manifestation of their narcissism, female andincludes elements of idealised over-valuation, of
male narcissists, inevitably, do tend to differ. Theyself-preoccupation, and of objectification of one's self
emphasise different things. They transform different(THAT which have all the advantages is what we
elements of their personality and of their life into thewant to become). It demonstrates a deficient ability
cornerstones of their disorder.to empathise and some grandiose sense of
Women concentrate on their body (as they do inentitlement ("I deserve to have the best
eating disorders: Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimiaopportunities/advantages") and omnipotence ("I can
Nervosa). They flaunt and exploit their physicalbe whatever I want to be - despite nature/God").
charms, their sexuality, their socially and culturallyThis feeling of entitlement is especially manifest in
determined "femininity". They secure their Narcissisticsome gender dysphoric individuals who aggressively
Supply through their more traditional gender role: thepursue hormonal or surgical treatment. They feel that
home, children, suitable careers, their husbands ("theit is their inalienable right to receive it on demand and
wife of..."), their feminine traits, their role in society,without any strictures or restrictions. For instance,
etc.they oftentimes refuse to undergo psychological
It is no wonder than narcissists - both men andevaluation or treatment as a condition for the
women - are chauvinistic and conservative. Theyhormonal or surgical treatment.
depend to such an extent on the opinions of peopleIt is interesting to note that both narcissism and
around them - that, with time, they are transformedgender dysphoria are early childhood phenomena. This
into ultra-sensitive seismographs of public opinion,could be explained by problematic Primary Objects,
barometers of prevailing winds and guardians ofdysfunctional families, or a common genetic or
conformity. Narcissists cannot afford to seriouslybiochemical problem. It is too early to say which. As
alienate those who reflect to them their False Self.yet, there isn't even an agreed typology of gender
The very proper and on-going functioning of theiridentity disorders - let alone an in-depth
Ego depends on the goodwill and the collaboration ofcomprehension of their sources.
their human environment.There are mental disorders, which afflict a specific
True, besieged and consumed by pernicious guiltsex more often. This has to do with hormonal or
feelings - many a narcissist finally seek to beother physiological dispositions, with social and cultural
punished. The self-destructive narcissist then playsconditioning through the socialisation process, and
the role of the "bad guy" (or "bad girl"). But evenwith role assignment through the gender
then it is within the traditional socially allocated roles.differentiation process. None of these seem to be
To ensure social opprobrium (read: attention), thestrongly correlated to the formation of malignant
narcissist exaggerates these roles to a caricature. Anarcissism. The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (as
woman is likely to self-label herself a "whore" and aopposed, for instance, to the Borderline or the
male narcissist to self-style himself a "vicious,Histrionic Personality Disorders, which afflict women
unrepentant criminal". Yet, these again are traditionalmore than men) seems to conform to social mores
social roles. Men are likely to emphasise intellect,and to the prevailing ethos of capitalism. Social
power, aggression, money, or social status. Womenthinkers like Lasch speculated that modern American
are likely to emphasise body, looks, charm, sexuality,culture - a narcissistic, self-centred one - increases
feminine "traits", homemaking, children and childrearingthe rate of incidence of the Narcissistic Personality
- even as they seek their masochistic punishment.Disorder. To this Kernberg answered, rightly:
Another difference is in the way the genders react"The most I would be willing to say is that society
to treatment. Women are more likely to resort tocan make serious psychological abnormalities, which
therapy because they are more likely to admit toalready exist in some percentage of the population,
psychological problems. But while men may be lessseem to be at least superficially appropriate."
inclined to DISCLOSE or to expose their problems toQuotes from the Literature
others (the macho-man factor) - it does not"Specifically, past research suggests that exploitive
necessarily imply that they are less prone to admit ittendencies and open displays of feelings of
to themselves. Women are also more likely to askentitlement will be less integral to narcissism for
for help than men.females than for males. For females such displays
Yet, the prime rule of narcissism must never bemay carry a greater possibility of negative social
forgotten: the narcissist uses everything around himsanctions because they would violate stereotypical
or her to obtain his (or her) Narcissistic Supply.gender-role expectancies for women, who are
Children happen to be more available to the femaleexpected to engage in such positive social behavior
narcissist due to the still prevailing prejudicedas being tender, compassionate, warm, sympathetic,
structure of our society and to the fact that womensensitive, and understanding.
are the ones to give birth. It is easier for a womanIn females, Exploitiveness/Entitlement is less
to think of her children as her extensions becausewell-integrated with the other components of
they once indeed were her physical extensions andnarcissism as measured by the Narcissistic Personality
because her on-going interaction with them is bothInventory (NPI) - Leadership/Authority,
more intensive and more extensive.Self-absorption/Self-admiration, and Superiority
This means that the male narcissist is more likely toArrogance- than in males - though 'male and female
regard his children as a nuisance than as a source ofnarcissists in general showed striking similarities in the
rewarding Narcissist Supply - especially as they growmanner in which most of the facets of narcissism
and become autonomous. Devoid of the diversity ofwere integrated with each other'."
alternatives available to men - the narcissistic womanGender differences in the structure of narcissism: a
fights to maintain her most reliable Source of Supply:multi-sample analysis of the narcissistic personality
her children. Through insidious indoctrination, guiltinventory - Brian T. Tschanz, Carolyn C. Morf, Charles
formation, emotional sanctions, deprivation and otherW. Turner - Sex Roles: A Journal of Research - Issue:
psychological mechanisms, she tries to induce in themMay, 1998
a dependence, which cannot be easily unravelled."Women leaders are evaluated negatively if they
But, there is no psychodynamic difference betweenexercise their authority and are perceived as
children, money, or intellect, as Sources of Narcissisticautocratic."
Supply. So, there is no psychodynamic differenceEagly, A. H., Makhijani, M. G., & Klonsky, B. G. (1992).
between male and female narcissist. The onlyGender and the evaluation of leaders: A
difference is in their choices of Sources of Narcissisticmeta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 111, 3-22, and ...
Supply.Butler, D., & Gels, F. L. (1990). Nonverbal affect
An interesting side issue relates to transsexuals.responses to male and female leaders: Implications
Philosophically, there is little difference between afor leadership evaluations. Journal of Personality and
narcissist who seeks to avoid his True Self (andSocial Psychology, 58, 48-59.
positively to become his False Self) - and a"Competent women must also appear to be sociable
transsexual who seeks to not be his true gender. Butand likable in order to influence men - men must only
this similarity, though superficially appealing, isappear to be competent to achieve the same results
questionable.with both genders."
People sometimes seek sex reassignment because ofCarli, L. L., Lafleur, S. J., & Loeber, C. C. (1995).
advantages and opportunities which, they believe, areNonverbal behavior, gender, and influence. Journal of
enjoyed by the other sex. This rather unrealisticPersonality and Social Psychology, 68, 1030-1041.
(fantastic) view of the other is faintly narcissistic. It