Gender and the Narcissist

In the manifestation of their narcissism,				over-valuation, of self-preoccupation, and of
female and male narcissists, inevitably, do				objectification of one's self (THAT which
tend to differ. They emphasise different				have all the advantages is what we want to
things. They transform different elements of				become). It demonstrates a deficient ability
their personality and of their life into the				to empathise and some grandiose sense of
cornerstones of their disorder.				entitlement ("I deserve to have the best
				opportunities/advantages") and omnipotence
Women concentrate on their body (as they do				("I can be whatever I want to be - despite
in eating disorders: Anorexia Nervosa and				nature/God").
Bulimia Nervosa). They flaunt and exploit
their physical charms, their sexuality, their				This feeling of entitlement is especially
socially and culturally determined				manifest in some gender dysphoric individuals
"femininity". They secure their Narcissistic				who aggressively pursue hormonal or surgical
Supply through their more traditional gender				treatment. They feel that it is their
role: the home, children, suitable careers,				inalienable right to receive it on demand and
their husbands ("the wife of..."), their				without any strictures or restrictions. For
feminine traits, their role in society, etc.				instance, they oftentimes refuse to undergo
				psychological evaluation or treatment as a
It is no wonder than narcissists - both men				condition for the hormonal or surgical
and women - are chauvinistic and				treatment.
conservative. They depend to such an extent
on the opinions of people around them - that,				It is interesting to note that both
with time, they are transformed into				narcissism and gender dysphoria are early
ultra-sensitive seismographs of public				childhood phenomena. This could be explained
opinion, barometers of prevailing winds and				by problematic Primary Objects, dysfunctional
guardians of conformity. Narcissists cannot				families, or a common genetic or biochemical
afford to seriously alienate those who				problem. It is too early to say which. As
reflect to them their False Self. The very				yet, there isn't even an agreed typology of
proper and on-going functioning of their Ego				gender identity disorders - let alone an
depends on the goodwill and the collaboration				in-depth comprehension of their sources.
of their human environment.
				There are mental disorders, which afflict a
True, besieged and consumed by pernicious				specific sex more often. This has to do with
guilt feelings - many a narcissist finally				hormonal or other physiological dispositions,
seek to be punished. The self-destructive				with social and cultural conditioning through
narcissist then plays the role of the "bad				the socialisation process, and with role
guy" (or "bad girl"). But even then it is				assignment through the gender differentiation
within the traditional socially allocated				process. None of these seem to be strongly
roles. To ensure social opprobrium (read:				correlated to the formation of malignant
attention), the narcissist exaggerates these				narcissism. The Narcissistic Personality
roles to a caricature. A woman is likely to				Disorder (as opposed, for instance, to the
self-label herself a "whore" and a male				Borderline or the Histrionic Personality
narcissist to self-style himself a "vicious,				Disorders, which afflict women more than men)
unrepentant criminal". Yet, these again are				seems to conform to social mores and to the
traditional social roles. Men are likely to				prevailing ethos of capitalism. Social
emphasise intellect, power, aggression,				thinkers like Lasch speculated that modern
money, or social status. Women are likely to				American culture - a narcissistic,
emphasise body, looks, charm, sexuality,				self-centred one - increases the rate of
feminine "traits", homemaking, children and				incidence of the Narcissistic Personality
childrearing - even as they seek their				Disorder. To this Kernberg answered, rightly:
masochistic punishment.
				"The most I would be willing to say is that
Another difference is in the way the genders				society can make serious psychological
react to treatment. Women are more likely to				abnormalities, which already exist in some
resort to therapy because they are more				percentage of the population, seem to be at
likely to admit to psychological problems.				least superficially appropriate."
But while men may be less inclined to
DISCLOSE or to expose their problems to				Quotes from the Literature
others (the macho-man factor) - it does not
necessarily imply that they are less prone to				"Specifically, past research suggests that
admit it to themselves. Women are also more				exploitive tendencies and open displays of
likely to ask for help than men.				feelings of entitlement will be less integral
				to narcissism for females than for males. For
Yet, the prime rule of narcissism must never				females such displays may carry a greater
be forgotten: the narcissist uses everything				possibility of negative social sanctions
around him or her to obtain his (or her)				because they would violate stereotypical
Narcissistic Supply. Children happen to be				gender-role expectancies for women, who are
more available to the female narcissist due				expected to engage in such positive social
to the still prevailing prejudiced structure				behavior as being tender, compassionate,
of our society and to the fact that women are				warm, sympathetic, sensitive, and
the ones to give birth. It is easier for a				understanding.
woman to think of her children as her
extensions because they once indeed were her				In females, Exploitiveness/Entitlement is
physical extensions and because her on-going				less well-integrated with the other
interaction with them is both more intensive				components of narcissism as measured by the
and more extensive.				Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) -
				Leadership/Authority, Self-absorption
This means that the male narcissist is more				Self-admiration, and Superiority/Arrogance-
likely to regard his children as a nuisance				than in males - though 'male and female
than as a source of rewarding Narcissist				narcissists in general showed striking
Supply - especially as they grow and become				similarities in the manner in which most of
autonomous. Devoid of the diversity of				the facets of narcissism were integrated with
alternatives available to men - the				each other'."
narcissistic woman fights to maintain her
most reliable Source of Supply: her children.				Gender differences in the structure of
Through insidious indoctrination, guilt				narcissism: a multi-sample analysis of the
formation, emotional sanctions, deprivation				narcissistic personality inventory - Brian T.
and other psychological mechanisms, she tries				Tschanz, Carolyn C. Morf, Charles W. Turner -
to induce in them a dependence, which cannot				Sex Roles: A Journal of Research - Issue:
be easily unravelled.				May, 1998

But, there is no psychodynamic difference				"Women leaders are evaluated negatively if
between children, money, or intellect, as				they exercise their authority and are
Sources of Narcissistic Supply. So, there is				perceived as autocratic."
no psychodynamic difference between male and
female narcissist. The only difference is in				Eagly, A. H., Makhijani, M. G., & Klonsky, B.
their choices of Sources of Narcissistic				G. (1992). Gender and the evaluation of
Supply.				leaders: A meta-analysis. Psychological
				Bulletin, 111, 3-22, and ...
An interesting side issue relates to
transsexuals.				Butler, D., & Gels, F. L. (1990). Nonverbal
				affect responses to male and female leaders:
Philosophically, there is little difference				Implications for leadership evaluations.
between a narcissist who seeks to avoid his				Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
True Self (and positively to become his False				58, 48-59.
Self) - and a transsexual who seeks to not be
his true gender. But this similarity, though				"Competent women must also appear to be
superficially appealing, is questionable.				sociable and likable in order to influence
				men - men must only appear to be competent to
People sometimes seek sex reassignment				achieve the same results with both genders."
because of advantages and opportunities
which, they believe, are enjoyed by the other				Carli, L. L., Lafleur, S. J., & Loeber, C. C.
sex. This rather unrealistic (fantastic) view				(1995). Nonverbal behavior, gender, and
of the other is faintly narcissistic. It				influence. Journal of Personality and Social
includes elements of idealised				Psychology, 68, 1030-1041.

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Gender and the Narcissist