| There comes a time when each one of us must | | | | her preference. In these centers, she would have the |
| admit that, no matter how hard we try, we can no | | | | opportunity to meet and mingle with people in her |
| longer do it all. That is especially important when it | | | | age group who are also unable to live alone and |
| comes to the subject of caring for our elderly | | | | whose families are unable to take them in. |
| parents. | | | | If Mom requires hands-on care, perhaps a 10-resident |
| Consider the hypothetical situation of Carol who is | | | | or less residential care home would be more |
| divorced, her children and siblings all live out of state. | | | | appropriate. The resident to caregiver ratio is greater |
| At the first indication that her mother could no longer | | | | than the larger centers, thereby affording more |
| live on her own, Carol moved Mom into her home | | | | individualized care. Dietary preferences are more likely |
| and has been her sole caregiver for six years. | | | | to be honored in a smaller care home, and the |
| Carol recently had a heart attack brought on by | | | | individual residents' needs and desires are more likely |
| stress and the all-too-common failure to care for | | | | to be honored. |
| herself. Her physician has advised that if she goes | | | | There is help available and you do have options |
| back to being the full-time caregiver for her mother, | | | | There are several options available to those seeking |
| she would likely die before her beloved parent. | | | | living arrangements for their parents. But we are all |
| Therefore, before the physician will release Carol | | | | to often caught up in the day-to-day details of living |
| from the hospital, alternative living arrangements | | | | that we fail to look into alternatives until a crisis |
| must be made for Mom. What does Carol do? Where | | | | occurs. Where do you start? Your local Area Agency |
| can she turn for help? | | | | on Aging offers a variety of resources and |
| Assisted Living Options | | | | information for family caregivers. If your church or |
| Seeing no other option, Carol arranges for her | | | | other place of worship has a parish nurse, they can |
| mother to be transferred to a small residential | | | | be a great source for referrals and assistance. |
| assisted living home not far from where Carol lives. | | | | Contact your parents physician for a referral to a |
| The home is in a quiet neighborhood, is clean, and the | | | | geriatric counselor or social worker. Ask your |
| residents appear to be very content in this home. | | | | coworkers if they have experienced a similar situation |
| The home owner prides herself on her staff to | | | | and ask for their input. Get to know your neighbors - |
| provide a warm, caring, home-like environment for | | | | there just may be a residential care home down the |
| her residents. As an added bonus, the homeowner is | | | | street from you. |
| a wonderful cook who prepares almost all of the | | | | No matter where you turn for help, help is available. |
| meals for her residents (or as she says, her | | | | We often do not know what questions to ask, much |
| extended family). Why did Carol choose this type of | | | | less to whom we ask. Do not put your life, and |
| residence for her mother? She had several things to | | | | perhaps the life of your parent, in jeopardy out of a |
| consider and talked them over with a social worker | | | | need to do it all. There comes a time when you |
| prior to making her decision. | | | | cannot and you must not feel guilt for not having |
| If Mom were a very social, fairly healthy and active | | | | done more. |
| person, perhaps an assisted living center would be | | | | |