Introducing Senior Living Options to Your Parents - Present Ideas As Possibilities, Not Absolutes

Children of aging parents often struggle when itovercome with many seniors. To help introduce the
comes time to convince Mom or Dad that it is timenew style of senior living, many communities host
to downsize and move to senior housing. Whether iteducational classes or fun senior outings for the
is to an independent senior apartment or to ancommunity. Most communities offer free tours that
assisted living community or a nursing home; the firstcan be scheduled around the lunch hour. Lunch is
hurdle is getting your parent to even consider theincluded in the tour. One group of senior communities
idea as a possibility. Unless it is a crisis situation, it isin my area is holding a Chef's Competition and inviting
better to allow the senior time to get used to thethe community. Check out the senior communities in
idea. With time and exposure to the idea, they mayyour area. See what activities they are having that
even accept the idea of moving as a positive.your parent might enjoy.
Seniors Frequently Resist Change:Keep the Conversation Low-Key:
Think about it. How long have your parents lived inUnless you are dealing with a crisis situation, keep the
their home? What does this home symbolize toconversation low-key. Parent value their
them? What do they feel they are giving up if theyindependence as much as we value ours. Introduce
move out of their home? Give them time to thinkthe idea long before it becomes a necessity. Let your
about the idea of change. Introduce the idea in aparents explore their options. Be open to discussing
conversational manner. Talk about "what if." Givingpossibilities with your parents. What are their choices?
them time to think and consider, allows them theSome seniors are quite capable of staying in their
freedom to come to their own decision.own homes with just a little outside help. There is no
Old Memories"one size fits all answer."
Even though senior living communities have changedWhat if They Won't Listen?
dramatically over the past few years, many of us stillRemember, unless a parent is mentally incapacitated,
have memories of visiting Grandma or Grandpa inthey still have the right to make their own decisions.
that depressing Old Folks Home - called a nursingJust as your parents might not have agreed with all
home. I remember visiting my Grandmother; thethe decisions you have made in your life, you may
yelling of old people who had "lost their minds" (asnot agree with all the decisions your parents make.
my mother explained it); the smell of urine as IThe most important consideration is their safety. If
passed certain rooms. Our parents have thesethey are adamant about staying in their own home,
memories too. Sometimes these memories can beand they are mentally competent, it is their choice.
very vivid. Besides, senior apartments or communitiesThere are resources available to help seniors stay
are for "old people." I heard a great definition of "old"independent in their own home. Check with your local
from a senior: "Old is always 20 years older than Isenior center, the local Area Agency on Aging, or
am."check with a Senior (Elder) Advisor or Geriatric Care
Presenting Senior Living as a Possibility:Manager in your local area.
Senior Communities realize the stigma they have to