| Hollywood Cowlifornia is where American Film Idols | | | | and regulations of the Kashruth Council of the United |
| are made. Richard Gere is the star of American | | | | States of America. |
| Gigolo and "Pretty Woman, walking down the street, | | | | In Afghanistan the people, including the Taliban |
| Pretty Woman, stop a while, Pretty Woman, talk a | | | | soldiers wait in line for hours to buy tickets to the |
| while, Pretty woman, give your smile to me, Pretty | | | | Bollywood movies. Suicide bombing the market place |
| Woman, give your cheek to me." | | | | is allowed but bombing the cinemas is strictly |
| If you take the words Bombay and Hollywood and | | | | verboten. "Zeig Heil!", said Charlie Chaplin. |
| put them together you have the film capital of India | | | | Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty are standing on a |
| Bollywood. Shilpa Shetty has been nominated for 4 | | | | stage in India last week before a cheering and |
| Filmfare (Indian Oscar) Awards. The stunningly | | | | adoring crowd. Richard Gere is screaming "Sex, No!", |
| beautiful 31 year old Shilpa Shetty and her knockout | | | | "Condoms, Yes!" Lets see him try that in Vatican |
| actress younger sister Shamita Shetty are the Indian | | | | City. Shilpa Shetty does not wear a burka. Shilpa |
| version of the Hilton sisters. | | | | Shetty appeared in a revealing bathing suit on the |
| Richard Gere is a peace activist like Mahatma Gandhi. | | | | cover of Cosmopolitan Magazine. |
| Richard Gere traveled to India last week to throw his | | | | After his speech, Richard Gere walks over to Shilpa |
| fame behind AIDS Awareness and People for the | | | | Shetty and kisses her twice on the cheek. Then he |
| Ethical Treatment of Animals, PETA. Talk about | | | | takes her in his arms like Heather Mills in a Tango, |
| preaching to the converted. In India, which has over | | | | bends her back and kisses her on the cheek again. |
| a billion people, the Hindu people idolize the cows as | | | | Richard then steps back to the cheering crowd, gets |
| sacred beings. It is illegal to kill or injure a cow. The | | | | down on one knee like a Shakesperean actor and |
| cow is the Divine Symbol of Mother Earth giving | | | | bows his head and flourishes his arm to his Queen, |
| freely milk, cheese, butter, dung for fertilizer and | | | | the smiling Shilpa Shetty. A week later some anal |
| dung smoke a powerful anti pollutant and never | | | | retentive nerd in Jaipur India files a complaint, alleging |
| asking for anything in return. How do you fit one | | | | that Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty committed public |
| billion people into a mental institution? | | | | obscenity. Kissing is fine on the Bollywood silver |
| Bollywood makes more films and sells more tickets | | | | screen but Judge Dinesh Gupta declared that "The |
| worldwide than Hollywood. Each Bollywood film is a | | | | Kiss" was highly sexually erotic, transgressed all limits |
| colorful musical three hours long with an intermission | | | | of vulgarity, and issued a warrant for the arrest of |
| for popcorn. Butter good, beef bad. The United | | | | Richard Gere and Shilpa Shetty. Everyone's a critic. |
| States just sold 8 nuclear reactors to India for the | | | | The chances of Richard Gere returning to Bombay |
| purpose of making more nuclear bombs. The primary | | | | again to face 6 years in some rat hole prison are the |
| dispute between Hindu India and neighboring Muslim | | | | same as Larry Birkhead taking Dannielynn back to |
| Pakistan is that Muslims eat beef, even though only | | | | Nassau for the June 6th custody hearing once he has |
| kosher beef. A Hasidic Rabbi like the Christian and | | | | her safe and sound and under the family court |
| Muslim Messiah Jesus Christ must ensure that the | | | | jurisdiction of California and the United States of |
| cow is slaughtered according to the Brooklyn rules | | | | America Supreme Court. God Bless America. |